Fair Haven Resolved

by Addy (ALM Voyager), Anne Rose, AW & Jemima

~*~*~*~

<Addy> Once upon a time . . . Kathryn Janeway locked Commander Chakotay in his quarters.

<Anne> It wasn't her fault, but considering the rash of practical jokes lately, who would believe her?

<Jemima> Certainly not Chakotay.  He was taking it all the wrong way.

<Addy> Chakotay had comlinked with her to say one thing: "When I get out, you're in trouble Kathryn!"

<Anne> She debated for a minute - tell him the truth, or... She chuckled into the commbadge, "That's Captain to you mister, and you'd better be able to back that up!"
         <Addy> (hee hee good one Anne), <Anne> (thx)

<Jemima> "That's Commander to you, Captain, and this means war."
         <Addy> (WOOOOHOOO!), <Jemima> (lol), <Anne> (LOL)

<Addy> "You're on, *Commander*," she drawled.  "But shouldn't there be some rules with our war?"
         <Jemima> (she left you wide open, anne...),  <Addy> (hehe)
         * AWx-files is here for a bit

<Anne> "Parameters Captain, I thought we'd gotten beyond that?" he purred into the commbadge.  She clapped a hand over her badge and looked around the corridor.
         <Addy> (order if you want to do it: Addy, Anne, Jemi, Aw!),  <Addy> (ROFLMAO Anne!)

<Jemima> No one was around, so she purred back at him, "You're right, Commander.  All's fair in love and war."

<AWx-files> I can see where the war part is going Captain, but what about part number two?  When do I get to sample the love part of the equation?

<Addy> "Well Commander," she continued via the commbadge.  "I always enjoyed high stakes.  If you can get out of your room and find me -- some loving is what you'll get."

<Anne> Kathryn debated on exactly where she wanted to be caught.  Her quarters, comfy but boring.  The holodeck, not boring, could be comfy...
         <Addy> lol

<Jemima> Then she slapped herself.  *Get a grip, Kathryn. This is war!*

<Addy> With the change in thoughts, she snapped into action.  Touching her commbadge once more, she hailed "Janeway to Tuvok.  I have an assignment for you."

<AWx-files> Tuvok responded with his usual curtness and curiousness.  "Yes Captain, what do you need?"
<AWx-files> Janeway responded, "I need your help to win the war to end all wars...a love match."
         <Jemima> (lol), <Addy> (doo wa doo wa)

<Anne> I need you to keep Commander Chakotay locked in his room for the next 30 minutes.  Then allow him to escape.
         <Addy> (oh my)

<Jemima> "Captain, are you well?  I trust you have a legitimate reason for imprisoning your first officer," Tuvok replied.

<Anne> "Tuvok, was I or was I not the soul of discretion during your recent bout with the flu?  Now just chalk this up to human irrationality and help me!" she said.

<Jemima> "I will do my best, Captain," Tuvok replied, though he had his own ideas about who should win the 'war'.

<Addy> "Tuvok out," the voice completed.

<Anne> Kathryn had decided on the holodeck as a "hiding" spot.  Now the problem was choosing a program.

<Jemima> Sandrine's?  Captain Proton?  No, she needed someplace that would put him off his guard.  Someplace that would make him sorry he ever threatened his Captain.  "Computer, run the Fair Haven program."

<Anne> Kathryn considered the program.  It had been a while.  "Computer, delete Michael Sullivan.  Add a new bartender - at least 70 years old, with a wife."

<AW47> Kathryn walked up to the new bartender, only to have him morph back into Michael Sullivan and the words, "Two can play at that game Katie" come out of his mouth sounding very much like Chakotay.
         <Anne> (LOL)

<AWx-files> Kathryn just about went ballistic.  "Computer, locate Commander Chakotay."
<AWx-files> "Commander Chakotay is in the mess hall."
<AWx-files> TUVOK!!!!

<Jemima> "Commander Tuvok is on the bridge," the computer answered her, misinterpreting her tone.  *I'll rip his ears off and play Pin The Ears On the Vulcan the hard way,* she growled.
         <AW47> (snerk), <Anne> (lol)

<Anne> "Computer, initiate site to site transport.  Relocate Commander Chakotay to a position 10 meters out toward the center of Fair Haven's loch, and 3 meters above it."

<AWx-files> Janeway sighed deeply, "And while you're at it, transport Commander Tuvok into Neelix's kitchen, close proximity to the Talaxian."
         <Anne> (lol)

<AWx-files> Janeway could hear the splash and the chatter.  She grinned and made her way to Fair Haven.

<Jemima> Michael followed close at her heels.  "Why don't you stop by the pub anymore, Katie O'Clare?  We miss you.  *I* miss you."

<Anne> Kathryn smiled, she turned, looked at Michael and batted her eyes, "I'd love to," she purred, "but there's a problem.  You see that man coming out of the loch?"
         <Jemima> (lol)
         <AWx-files> (no fair)

<AWx-files> Michael got green with jealousy.
<AWx-files> "Yes Katie?"
<AWx-files> "I'm carrying his child."

<Jemima> "Katie!"  Michael shouted, "I'll make him do the right thing by you.  Let me fetch my gun and the priest."  Michael ran off.
         <AWx-files> (ROFLMAO), <Anne> (roflmao!)

<Anne> By the time Chakotay was out of he water, he was greeted by the barrel of a shotgun, a confused Doctor (in priest's garb), and an embarrassed Kathryn.

<AWx-files> Kathryn was red with embarrassment, and any hair the holodoc happened to have had, had been pulled out by Michaels hand tugging him away.  "Wed them now chaplin, she's with child, and she's not wed."
<AWx-files> Chakotay looked on confused and wet.

<Jemima> The Chaplain whipped out a medical tricorder and scanned the bride to be.
         <AWx-files> (he he he)_

<Anne> He tried to scan her, but she batted the tricorder away, saying something about it being out of place in Fair Haven.
         * Jemima (passed the buck)
        <AWx-files> (gee Kathryn meant it when she sad love and war)

<Anne> But not before he got a glance at the readings - she was only 6 weeks along, but...
         <AWx-files> (oh come on)
         <Jemima> (lol - anne grabs the buck in both hands)
         <AWx-files> (I was kidding with the pregnant Janeway thing), <AW47> (DOH)
         <Jemima> (that'll teach you, aw)
         <Jemima> (maybe she doesn't know)

<AWx-files> The doctor being the joker he was decided it would be fair game.  "Commander, please take your bride-to-be's hand, it seems you have some situations to right before the little one comes along."
<AWx-files> All parties concerned blanched considerably

<Jemima> "Hold on one minute, Father," Michael said.  "You can't have a wedding until the banns have been published."
         <AWx-files> (LOL)

<Jemima> "That's not a problem, Mr. Sullivan," the Doctor replied.
<Jemima> "You see, Katie can return to her starship to be married."

<Anne> "Well then I'll be returning too, to see that he does right by her," he said grabbing the mobile-emitter and escorting Chakotay from the holodeck at the point of his shotgun.
         <AWx-files> (pthhhhbbbb)
         <Anne> (please have tom, tuvok or someone in the corridor)
         <Jemima> (mmm?)
 

<AWx-files> Janeway quickly turned off Fair Haven.  *Was he serious with the tricorder thing?*  Just then she heard the shipwide announcement being made by none other than a very annoyed Tuvok.
         <Jemima> (Tuvok has to do the honors.  Grab a best man or a bridesmaid on the way)

<AWx-files> "All free parties please go to the mess hall for a celebration of sorts"
         <Jemima> (lolol)

<Jemima> Michael had managed to download his matrix into the mobile-emitter, and he reappeared as Fair Haven shut down.  "March," he ordered.
         <Anne> (hehehehe), <AW47> (doesn't doc hace the portable emitter?)
         <Anne> (michael grabbed it), <Jemima> (michael grabbed it)
         <AW47> (oh.), <Jemima> (lol), <AW47> (Go anne), <Jemima> (anne anne anne)

<Anne> The holodeck doors opened and Chakotay marched forward with the shotgun in his back, much to the surprise of Tom and B'Elanna who were passing by.
<Anne> "What's going on?" they said.  "He's going to do right by your Captain before the wee one is born."  And with they they proceeded to the mess hall.

<Jemima> But not before Michael waved his gun at Tom and B'Elanna.  "You two are the witnesses.  Come along."

<AWx-files> Janeway ran out of the holodeck and just about ran over a dumb-founded Tom and B'Elanna being escorted by Michael and Chakotay.
<AWx-files> Tom pulled his trusty tricorder out and scanned his Captain.  He let out a low whistle as the beep sounded and Janeway grabbed his arm, escorting him with them.
         <Jemima> (lolol)
         <Anne> (they need to secure those darn tricorders!)
<Jemima> "Captain, did you know you're--" Tom began to say, but Janeway cut him off.
<Jemima> "Put a sock in it flyboy."
         <AWx-files> (ROFL), <Anne> (lol)

<Jemima> "Do you think that gun will work out here?" Tom asked his wife.

<Anne> "Shut up Tom!" B'Elanna whispered, "We have the inside track on your betting pools. Don't mess this!"
         <Jemima> (lol)

<AWx-files> Tom got that gleam in his eye.  "Computer, shut down the bets for pool Paris phi one six, after bet placed by B'Elanna Torres is received."
<AWx-files> "Acknowledge." the computer beeped as Tom's grin widened.

<Jemima> "I believe that's nepotism, Tom," Chakotay commented.  "Ouch!" he added as Michael poked the shotgun into his back.  "Keep walking," the Irishman said.

<Anne> As they walked through the corridor, the little procession grew larger and larger.  Word spread throughout the ship, as the "happy couple" approached the mess hall.

<AWx-files> Harry, in his usual confused stupor wasn't sure what was going on.  "What's this I hear about a baby?"
<AWx-files> Janeway grabbed him by the neck, and lets just say, his voice box would never be the same.
         <Jemima> (lol.  poor harry)

<Jemima> "Tell Tuvok to keep out of this.  Go.  Now." Janeway whispered in the hapless Ensign's ear.  Harry ran off in fright.

<Anne> When they arrived at the mess hall, it was standing room only.  Janeway sighed as she noticed more than one crewman surreptitiously scanning her with tricorders and exchanging credits.
         <Jemima> (lololololololol), * Jemima (is cracking up here.)

<AW47> Janeway now becoming totally aware of what the doctor had discovered called the sickbay.  "How far doctor?"

<AWx-files> "Why don't you ask one of the many crewmembers who are no doubt collecting Captain."
         <Anne> (lol)
         <AWx-files> (I was really kidding with the pregnant crack originally)
         <Anne> (too late now - lol)

<Jemima> Neelix was rushing around the mess hall, stringing white ribbon between the chairs.  Naomi Wildman was helping.  Harry was cowering in a corner, and Tuvok seemed to have mounted a podium of some sort.  *I'll kill him,* she growled softly.
         *** Addy has joined #jetc
         * Addy huggles jemi, anne, aw, and carissa

<Anne> Tuvok quieted the crowd, "Captain, since you and the First Officer are incapacitated, I believe that leaves me in command of the ship.  As such, I have the honor of performing the ceremony.  You will agree it is the only logical solution."
<Anne> He motioned to the shotgun Michael carried, as evidence of their inability to command at the moment.
         <Addy> (lol)

<AWx-files> Janeway glowered at Tuvok.  Tuvok flinched and continued with the ceremony.

<Jemima> "Starfleet has a few antiquated moral regulations...
<Jemima> They don't usually come into play with female captains, but I'm afraid that your condition requires me to relieve you of duty...
<Jemima> or marry you and the Commander.  Which will it be, Captain?" Tuvok asked.

<Anne> Taking Chakotay's hand, she turned and smiled at the assembled crowd, "Actually I think I'll do neither.  The Commander and I have been married ever since that away mission 6 months ago.  The natives were quite obliging."

<AWx-files> Janeway looked at the crowd with a smug look.  "So it seems, I won the war."
<AWx-files> Chakotay turned to Janeway, "Uh Kathryn, you think so huh?  Well I won the bet."
<AWx-files> Chakotay motioned to his pad of replicator rations won just this afternoon with Kathryn's announcement.  "Katie, I scanned you last week."
         <Anne> (lol)

<Jemima> Michael spoke up.  "I'm confused, Katie.  Would someone care to explain all this to me?"
         <Anne> (that was great AW!!!)

<Anne> "It's simple Michael, this is all a dream, and your wife is waiting for you back at the bar."  She took hold of the mobile-emitter, "Computer, restore all of character's original parameters and return him to Fair Haven."
         * Anne says bye-bye Michael
         * Jemima misses Michael.

<AWx-files> Tuvok looked on realizing he had lost his upper hand.  "Ensign Kim, please try to do something to annoy Captain Janeway and get her off my tail."

<Jemima> Harry, always willing to kiss up, walked over to the happy couple and shook their hands.  "Congratulations, Captain, Commander!"

<Anne> And the whole crew, except for the Captain, who was being a responsible mom-to-be, and the Commander who was being a sympathetic husband, got drunk while toasting the happy couple.
<Anne> Someone eventually returned the Doc's mobile-emitter so he could administer hyposprays to the crew in the morning.

<AWx-files> Harry however, still had one trick up his sleeve.  The commander not two weeks before had blurted out their wedding in a drunken stupor in Sandrine's.
<AWx-files> and Harry being the bright lad he was had had a scan on the captain's hormone level ever since
         <Jemima> (Harry wins the pool?)
         <AWx-files> (yep)

<Jemima> He won the pool, but it took him two weeks to recover from the bat'leth wounds.
         <AWx-files> (ROFLMAO)
         <Anne> (the end?)
         <AWx-files> (fine with me)

<Jemima> THE END!
 

~*~*~ THE END ~*~*~