Rainforest by Anne Rose

"Remind me again why I let you pilot the shuttle, Commander?" Kathryn asked as she batted yet another frond away from her face. They had been hiking toward what they hoped was the river for over an hour, alternating between discussing the scenery and exchanging good natured banter.

Chakotay chuckled. "We 'landed' in a slightly different location than we planned, that's all. We're still on shore leave. We were planning to do some hiking anyway." He shrugged and decided to test the waters. "I don't see the problem... Kathryn."

If she was surprised by the informality, she didn't show it. After all, they had agreed to spend their shoreleave together. "The problem is, we were supposed to be at a campsite with all the amenities - replicators, insect screens, and hot tubs, Chakotay." She sighed as she thought of relaxing in a hot tub right now.

"It's not like we're really stranded. When we don't check-in in a few days, they will come looking for us."

Chakotay pushed aside another frond, and stepped out into a clearing. Kathryn followed him. They squinted as they emerged from the dense rainforest into the bright sunlight.

"And in the meantime? When we don't show up at the group site?" Kathryn demanded, unwilling to let it drop.

Chakotay stopped and turned to look at her. She was standing with her hands on her hips, her stance daring him to say something. He raised his eyebrow, gave her a mischievous smirk, and shrugged. "In the meantime, they'll all just assume we wanted to spend some time alone." He ignored Kathryn's gasp and her shocked expression. "I think we have several days before we can look forward to a rescue party."

Before she could protest further, he turned and started walking again, and so he missed the grin she was trying to suppress. She was enjoying herself, in spite of their little mishap. And knowing she wasn't going to suddenly be interrupted by a call from Tuvok was looking better and better.

He pointed ahead of him. "Hear that? It must be just on the other side of this meadow. See how the ground slopes down?"

"This is not over, Mister." Kathryn quipped as she adjusted her pack and followed him.

Chakotay smiled to himself. "I certainly hope not." He said under his breath.

A few minutes later they stood on an outcropping several meters above the bank of the river. The water was flowing lazily past them. Down below, several trees lined the bank, creating shaded areas along the grassy bank.

"Looks like we can climb down over there." Chakotay scrambled part way down and then held out his hand to help Kathryn.

Kathryn hesitated. It was a short distance. She could certainly climb down by herself. The path was steep, but not too difficult to negotiate. She looked up from the path to Chakotay's face. He stood below, waiting, his hand still held out toward her. He was once again offering himself as whatever she needed, and waiting for her to decide.

She sighed and leaned forward to grasp his hand. As she did, he smiled and let out the breath he had been holding. It was silly, she told herself, but she loved it when he smiled, and particularly when he smiled at her. It took almost nothing to make him happy. The slightest affection or even attention from her elicited one of his broad smiles.

Her face clouded over for a moment, as she contemplated that. She had known for a long time that she had far too much control over Chakotay's emotional wellbeing. She felt a pang of guilt when she reflected that most of the time she made him unhappy with her rejection of him, of them. But she had no idea how to remedy their situation, so these little moments would have to do for now.

Chakotay picked his way down the path, guiding her with is hand. Kathryn enjoyed the contact - a link to another human being, and the added bonus of it being Chakotay.

The last meter of the path went straight down. Chakotay reluctantly let go of Kathryn's hand and hopped down. Once he was on the ground he held up both his hands to her, and waited.

It was ridiculous. The jump down was at most a meter. Naomi could have managed it without assistance. For a moment, she thought about refusing his help and just jumping down on her own, but the image of his hurt expression flashed through her mind. 'What could it hurt?' She thought.

Kathryn leaned down and put her hands on Chakotay's shoulders. "Ready?" She asked.

Chakotay reached up and wrapped his hands firmly around her waist, "Ready whenever you are. Just say the word."

She chuckled. "First floor please." He winked at her as she stepped off the edge. Kathryn felt Chakotay catch her and begin to lower her carefully.

Her laughter stopped abruptly as she became aware of her body pressing against his while he slid her down toward the ground. Her mouth opened and she drew in a breath as she felt his chest, then his hips, and then his legs rub along her body as she descended. She finally came to rest on the ground, her hands still gripping his shoulders, her face buried in his chest as he held her body against him.

They didn't move for a moment, neither one sure what to do next. They had played this game for so long, but each encounter was different and brought its own set of opportunities and perils. Kathryn didn't want to push him away, but she couldn't keep standing there in his arms. She imagined Chakotay's thoughts ran along the same lines.

Just as she was about to push back, she felt him squeeze her gently and then begin to relax his hold on her body. She relaxed her grip on his shoulders and let her hands slide down his arms. Chakotay caught one of her hands and turned them toward the river.

"That looks like a good place for lunch." He said, changing the unspoken subject. "And over there are some caves that go back into the cliff we just came down. Those should provide good shelter if it decides to rain later."

Kathryn nodded and allowed him to lead her over to the trees along the bank. They put their packs on the ground and each started to pull out food and supplies. Outwardly they both focused on the task at hand, but inside they were contemplating their current situation, its pros, and cons. This was definitely an opportunity, but for good or ill?

Kathryn spoke first. "I've been thinking."

Chakotay stiffened slightly as he heard her. They had had a lovely day so far, but if the word "parameters" came out of her mouth, he was hiking back to the shuttle - alone.

She continued. "This is very picturesque spot, don't you think? The way the river slows just here, bank with nice shade trees and grass."

"Mmm-hmm," Chakotay murmured his agreement. "I suspect it was terra-formed from the looks of it. It's a bit too perfect to have occurred randomly. In the information the ambassador supplied, it mentioned that there were a number of more naturalistic camping areas. I think we must have found one of them."

Kathryn nodded. "So, what have we got." She looked at the stack of supplies they had unpacked. There were survival rations, a tent, blankets, a portable heating unit, a compact med-kit, a couple PADDS, several containers of water, and various other miscellaneous items.

"I wish we'd been able to bring some of the cushions from the shuttle. I'm not looking forward to sleeping directly on the ground." She sorted through the food supplies and tried to find one of the least offensive ration packs. "Here." She tossed him a packet and grinned. "We can start with these. They're almost edible. In a day or so we can eat the others when we're so hungry we don't care anymore."

Chakotay looked at it, and put it aside. He looked a little sheepish. "Actually, I think we can do better than that." He pulled a device out of his pack and tapped in a command. A pile of supplies appeared two meters to their left, including the bench cushions from the shuttle.

Kathryn's mouth dropped open, and she stared first at the supplies and then at Chakotay. He shrugged. "I set the computer to inventory and prioritize the portable contents of the shuttle and use the last of the shuttle's energy reserves to beam as much as possible to our coordinates."

"And why didn't you set it to beam us here? Or for that matter, to beam us back to civilization?" Kathryn tried not to sound harsh, but she was flabbergasted by this development.

Chakotay began sifting through the supplies, avoiding her eyes. "First, there wasn't enough energy to transport living beings that far, or with a guarantee of success." He tossed a package to Kathryn. "Second, with the sensors down, we couldn't figure out where here was until we got... here." He found another item and handed it to her. It looked a bit like a metal pitcher. "And third, we would have missed out on all this."

Kathryn considered his explanation as he took a third item he'd found and began assembling it on the ground between them. It was another portable heat source, but this one was designed to focus all the heat on its flat upper surface. Chakotay took the metal container from Kathryn and filled the bottom compartment with water.

She sat back and wrapped her arms around her bent legs. Resting her chin on top of her knees, she watched with interest as Chakotay's project developed.

He opened the top compartment and reached out his hand. "Pass me that package, please." She put it in his hand. "Thank you."

She watched as he opened the package and poured out a brown substance into the top compartment. Kathryn got a whiff of the aroma. "Coffee?" She leaned forward eagerly.

"Right now it's ground coffee beans." He leaned forward and slowly waved the pot back and forth under her nose. "But in a few minutes it will be steaming... hot... rich... coffee."

Kathryn watched the pot as he swung it back and forth. She sighed as the smell wafted up to her, and she licked her lips. Chakotay paused in mid swing, mesmerized by the sight. She noticed the pot stop and looked up from it to Chakotay's eyes. She blinked when she found his eyes locked onto hers. For a long moment she simply stared at him. Then she blinked again, coming back to reality. "I think it's going to take a long time to brew unless you turn on the heater."

It was Chakotay's turn to blink. He swallowed and then looked down to set the pot on the improvised camp stove. "While that's brewing, why don't you look through the rest of the supplies and see what you want for lunch?"

"Ok." She nodded.

Kathryn allowed her compulsive side to take over and distract her. She sorted the supplies into piles. Food that she didn't hand to Chakotay was arranged in one area, sorted by type, fruits separate from vegetables and bread, etc.... Other items like tools, clothes, and finally shelter and bedding were all separated out. The last caused her some anxiety, and although she tried to ignore it, some anticipation. She searched through the supplies again. "Chakotay... how many tents do we have? I don't see another one in this pile."

He didn't look up from the food he was preparing. He kept his voice very factual and non-committal, like he was delivering any status report. "I carried one from the shuttle. If you didn't put one in your pack, that's it."

Kathryn blushed. He made it sound like she had engineered this somehow. Had she? She wondered. Why hadn't she grabbed another tent and put it into her pack? "There are no accidents," she remembered her psych professor saying. She risked a sideways glance at Chakotay, to gauge his reaction.

Chakotay was concentrating on the food and carefully not looking at Kathryn. He could feel her eyes on him, but he didn't look up. It was definitely his fault that there was only one tent, but if he knew her as well as he thought, right about now his comments would have her searching her own motivations. He needed to let her do that privately, so he remained absorbed in the meal he was preparing.

He saw Kathryn stand and begin pacing. That was a bad sign. He needed to distract her before she talked herself into something they would both regret. "Lunch will be ready in about 10 minutes. Why don't you look at the caves and decide which one looks best for setting up camp?"

Kathryn nodded, happy to have an excuse to go off by herself and think. She walked up to the first of the three caves and started exploring. It was a simple hole in the wall perhaps five meters high, and about as wide. It extended back nearly 15 meters into the cliff. It was deep enough to provide shelter from wind and rain, and tall enough to stand up in and still give smoke from a fire room to flow overhead, out of the cave. The floor of the cave was clean, and all along one side there was a wide bench carved out of the wall. It looked like it could be used for anything from a sleeping platform, to a bench or even a makeshift table. It seemed Chakotay was right about this area being terra-formed.

The second cave was much like the first. The dimensions were a bit different. Kathryn wondered if it was designed to accommodate shorter species since the ceiling of the cave was barely more than two meters high. It also had a number of round indentations in the floor that were half a meter deep and it lacked the bench along the side. Not designed for them, she concluded, and went on to the third.

Chakotay was finishing lunch when he heard Kathryn scream. He dropped what he working on and pulled his phaser off his belt as he took off at a dead run toward the right-hand cave. "Kathryn," he called out as he reached it.

"I'm over here," she said. She looked up at him as he ran in, phaser drawn. "I'll come eat, I promise. No need for all that." She chuckled at his confusion.

"Are you all right? I heard you scream." He said, as he tried to catch his breath.

Kathryn wrinkled her brow in confusion, and looked at him. "Oh," she said as the fog lifted. "I think the cave must have strange acoustics. I was a little bit excited when I found this." She motioned for him to follow. "I might have made a... not entirely captain-like noise." Then she smiled and winked at him. "I trust I can rely on your discretion?"

"No one will ever hear from me about any uncaptain-like noises you might make." He said with complete seriousness and bowed slightly as he finished.

Kathryn raised and eyebrow at that comment and looked at him as if she wanted to ask a question. He maintained such a complete look of innocence that she decided not to pursue it. Instead she turned to show him her find. As soon as she turned Chakotay's face broke into an impish grin.

Chakotay was still grinning when they reached the back of the cave. There was a hole in the ceiling to one side that let in a shaft of daylight. It was directly over a steaming, bubbling pool of water.

Kathryn was beaming as she pointed to it. "It's just the right temperature, and, if I'm not mistaken, I think there are benches carved out all around the inside edge. I'll bet they're just the right height to sit on."

Chakotay nodded, still smiling. "I guess that's settles it, we're staying in this one."

"I just wish I had brought my suit."

Chakotay's eyebrows shot up for a split second at that statement, but he kept him mouth tightly shut. Kathryn looked at him and gave him a slight scowl. He raised his hands defensively and backed up, "I didn't say a word."

"No. No you didn't, but you were thinking it." She stepped forward and poked a finger into his chest. He suddenly looked concerned. At that, she started chuckling and started walking out of the cave.

Chakotay looked thoughtful for a moment and then dashed after her to catch up. "And what exactly am I being accused of thinking?" He said as he slipped his arm through hers and fell into step with her.

Kathryn flinched slightly as his arm wrapped around hers, but she covered it by patting his arm with her free hand. "There will be no skinny-dipping on this shore leave." Kathryn chuckled as Chakotay missed his step and stumbled. She saw him open his mouth to reply, but she cut him off and said, quite seriously. "After all, you never know when Mr. Paris might suddenly appear to rescue us." She winked at him, and he nearly missed another step.

Chakotay wondered when exactly he had lost control of this situation. She had him off-balance, in more than one way. He wondered if she was just engaging in some harmless flirting, or if he dared imagine she might be serious. It was foolish, and he would probably get shot down, but he decided to go ahead and dream.

After they had eaten lunch, and more importantly after Kathryn had had her coffee, they began to set up their camp. They laughed and joked about all sorts of things as they carried the supplies up to the cave.

Once they had moved all the gear, the only thing left was to put up the tent.

Chakotay surveyed the cave silently. Kathryn hadn't said anything since they realized they were done moving things into the cave. He hadn't said anything either, not wanting to say the wrong thing and spook her. Now, as the silence stretched on uncomfortably, one of them needed to do or say something.

Instead, Chakotay picked up the tent and carried it a little further into the cave. He set it down and then pulled the cord. The tent unfolded and popped into shape. They stood for a moment staring at the rather small "two-man" tent.

"Standard survival tent." Kathryn broke the silence.

"Yes, standard Starfleet issue," he replied.

"Right. Wouldn't want it to be too large because..." Kathryn trailed off.

"Because then it would be harder to carry and in the cold it wouldn't hold in as much body heat," Chakotay filled in.

Kathryn crossed her arms over her chest and looked down. She nudged a small rock with her toe. "Tuvok couldn't have explained it better."

He grinned at that. They were adults. This didn't have to be awkward. "We should finish setting up. Then we can have dinner without worrying about it."

She didn't make eye contact.

'Who am I kidding; this is going to be awkward as hell.' Chakotay thought as he walked past her and picked up the cushions.

Kathryn wondered if she was just projecting her concerns onto Chakotay or if he was talking about more than just 'worrying about setting up camp.' She was worrying about the sleeping arrangements and he had to be too, but he was continuing as if nothing were amiss. She watched him return with the cushions from the shuttle and slide them into the tent.

Suddenly she realized she should be helping and not just standing there watching him work. Kathryn hurried over to the stack of bedding and picked it up. By the time she was back at the tent, Chakotay had the cushions neatly arranged, filling the tent. "Very clever of Starfleet to make the bench cushions the same dimensions as the survival tents, or do you think it was the other way around?"

"What?" Kathryn handed him the blankets and pillows.

"Do you think they designed the tents or the cushions first?" He asked.

"I've never really thought about it," she answered.

"We'll have to ask someone when we send the next datastream." He smiled when she finally looked at him and chuckled. 'Now for the hard question,' he thought. "How do you want me to arrange the blankets? We have three, so we can share or we can arm-wrestle for the odd one. It's up to you."

There it was, the decision she'd been worrying about ever since she discovered there was only one tent. She was an adult and a Starfleet Captain; she could make these sorts of decisions. After all it was just a question of whether or not to share a blanket or to pull rank and take it for herself. "How cold is it supposed to get tonight?"

That question got her a raised eyebrow from Chakotay. He saw right through her ploy, and she knew it. "Not terribly cold. Enough to require blankets, but not cold enough to be dangerous."

Kathryn bent down to look inside the tent. It seemed even smaller on the inside, if that was possible. She sighed. "I think we should just share. There's so little room in the tent, it won't make much difference whatever we decide."

Chakotay looked at her, and almost said something, but he thought better of it and took the blankets and ducked back into the tent. She was right about the close quarters. It was going to be an interesting couple of days.

When he emerged from the tent, Kathryn was no longer in the cave. He walked outside and soon found her sitting on the bank, looking at the river. "Mind if I join you?"

"Go ahead." She patted the ground next to her. "This is a lovely spot. I can't imagine that the other campsite has anything to compare to this."

"The other one has hot and cold running water and replicators."

"We have hot and cold running water." She waved her hand at the river. Then she picked up the tricorder she had been using and showed it to him. "The water, like everything else around here, seems to be engineered for our use. It's almost as pure as the water we replicate."

He looked at the instrument for a moment and nodded.

"I've also scanned the surrounding area. There are a number of edible fruit trees nearby and fish in the stream."

"It's nice to know we won't starve before help arrives."

"We won't starve, and we have coffee. What else could I want?" She looked away and frowned as she realized that hadn't come out right.

Chakotay noticed the change in her mood. "There must be something else, or you wouldn't be frowning like that."

She lied. "Oh, it's just frustrating to be so close to the rest of the crew and the ship and not be able to get a message to them. I still don't understand how the crash could have knocked out our commbadges." She shook her head. She was just making it worse. Where was the courage she had facing the Borg? "But, if I have to be stranded somewhere, this is certainly the place for it."

He sensed something else was bothering her, so he probed further under the guise of friendly banter. "Does that mean I'm forgiven for denting the shuttle, or are you still wishing Tom had been piloting?"

She looked over at Chakotay and grinned. She could kiss him for providing that opening. "Ah, but then I would have been stranded with Tom. And, nothing against Tom, I'm rather fond of him, and I'm sure we'd get along fine." She looked down and began pulling at the blades of grass by her leg. "But I can't imagine anyone I'd rather be stranded with, than you."

Chakotay wasn't sure what to say to that, and suddenly he understood what Kathryn found so appealing about the grass. He started plucking blades and flicking them into the river. "I'm glad this shore leave hasn't been too much of a disappointment for you. I'm impressed at how you've tried to make the best of it..." He paused and looked out across the river. "And as much as I've come to respect Tom, I'm glad you're here instead of him."

He hesitantly turned toward her to gauge her reaction. She glanced up and caught his eyes before he could look away again. She didn't say anything, and neither did he. They sat for a long moment and regarded each other. Finally he broke the connection and looked back at the river.

"It looks like we have an hour or two of daylight left. Do you want to do some exploring before we eat dinner?"

"That sounds good. We're on shore leave after all. We should do something fun." Kathryn stood up and brushed the bits of grass of her pants. "I'll grab a pack in case we want to collect some food along the way."

Chakotay laughed at that.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. It's just I suggested a leisurely stroll, and you're turning it into a foraging expedition. Do you ever relax?" He asked.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then dropped the pack. "I'm not sure I know how anymore, Chakotay. It's been so long since I could truly relax."

He hadn't meant to kill the mood, and Kathryn's expression saddened him. He reached out and took her hand. "As long as you're alive, it's not too late to change." He started to lead her along the bank. "Just for the rest of today, let yourself relax. Forget about the ship. Forget about the crew. Imagine this is all there is."

She nodded and walked with him. They explored the river for several hundred meters downstream. Along the way they did find some fruit that looked tempting. They picked a couple that smelled delicious.

"You know we could have picked more, if someone hadn't convinced me to leave the pack behind." She teased him.

"It just means we have an excuse to come back again tomorrow. We can't eat a whole pack of fruit between dinner and breakfast anyway, so it all works out the same."

She shook her head. "That's where we're different. I would rather go and get the fruit all at once. It's more efficient."

"Ah, but then you miss the fun along the way. Try taking things one step at a time. Enjoy the journey." He grinned. "Stop and smell the roses."

She smiled. Chakotay could be subtle, but this was not one of those times. "Are we talking about gathering fruit, or are we talking about Voyager now?"

He laughed. "I have no idea what this 'Voyager' is, but if you think it applies, then you're probably right."

Kathryn nodded. She'd managed to not talk about the ship for over an hour. It wasn't a great start, but it was a start. She tried again to concentrate only on the present as they slowly made their way back to camp.

Kathryn noticed the smile on his face as they sat down for dinner. It was nice to smile and joke, and just be comfortable together, without worrying about the ship, or the crew, or what they thought.

After dinner they collected their dishes and food and took them up to the camp. Kathryn rummaged through her clothes trying to find something to wear in the tub, and suddenly she found her swim suit. "Where did this come from? I thought I forgot to pack it. I was going to replicate or buy one at the campground."

Chakotay shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess the computer thought it was important."

"Hmmm." She considered the suit for a moment and then decided not to worry about how it had actually gotten there. "I want to soak in the hot tub for a while before going to sleep." She ducked into the tent and changed. She emerged a few minutes later and walked to the tub.

Kathryn dipped a toe in to check the temperature and then climbed in. She sighed contentedly as she sank down in the water and started to relax. When she looked back, she saw Chakotay pulling a PADD out of his pack and looking for a place to sit. "Chakotay, that better not be a report. If I have to relax, you have to relax."

He looked at her and smiled. "No, it's a novel I've been reading." He held up the PADD, as if she could read it from there. "How's the water?"

"It's heavenly." She swished her hands back and forth in the water. "There's plenty of room. You could soak and read if you want." She didn't wait for a response, instead she leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

A few minutes later she heard Chakotay walk up and climb in the pool. She raised her head and opened her eyes. She saw he'd brought his PADD, and also a couple of towels and a couple of glasses. Strange, she hadn't remembered packing towels.

"What's in the glasses," she asked.

"Just water." He took on of the glasses and slid around the pool to her side, and handed it to her.

"Thanks." She took a sip and then set it on the ground beside her.

Chakotay took his PADD and started to read.

Kathryn's mind began to wander. She looked up through the hole in the roof of the cave at the stars. She sighed as she allowed herself to remember another time when they were alone in a similar setting. She wondered, if she had it to do all over again, would she do things differently?

If she had known then what she knew now, what would she have done? Back then she had been so focused on finding a cure for them and getting off that planet. Part of her motivation had been fear. Fear that she would give in to her attraction to her first officer and betray her fiancé.

If she had known then that they would be given up for dead, that Mark would marry, and that years later Voyager would still be stranded in the Delta Quadrant... But she hadn't known, and there was no point in rehashing the past or regretting mistakes.

Her head bobbed up at the realization. How long had she considered it a mistake?

Chakotay looked up from his PADD. "Everything all right, Kathryn?" She had been very quiet during dinner, and he had known the wheels were turning. Now he could almost hear them.

Looking over at him, she tried to smile. What could she say? 'Yes, Chakotay, everything is just perfect. No, Chakotay, everything is a mess because I'm afraid of my own feelings.' She shook her head at her own indecision. "I should be able to answer that, shouldn't I?"

Chakotay sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He steeled himself for what he was afraid was coming next, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. He took a deep breath. "Do you want to talk about it what you were thinking about just then?"

Kathryn looked up and caught his eyes and held them. She looked, really looked into them trying to decide what to say. "Perhaps honesty is the best policy," she heard herself say. "I was thinking about my life, the good things, the bad things, the mistakes I've made, and the things I regret..."

"Sounds pretty heavy for someone who's supposed to be relaxing." He smiled at her, but it was an apprehensive smile. He wasn't sure anymore if he wanted to know. The idea of hiking back to the shuttle was looking attractive again.

"We're quite a pair, aren't we?" She shook her head. "I think we both know we're often thinking the same things, but we never talk about it. We keep going with this charade that... if we ignore it, it's not real."

Chakotay slid toward her and covered her hand with his. His eyes searched hers, fearful and hopeful at the same time. "What mistakes and regrets, Kathryn?" He said in barely a whisper.

She took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "I was thinking about another time when we were stranded. We had no idea if anyone was going to rescue us. I spent all my time focused on my research. And I never... stopped to smell the roses." She looked up at him. "And now, I'm not sure I would even know how."

Chakotay studied her expression, not sure just how far he could or should push. "You managed to leave it all behind for a few hours today. As long as we're in this quadrant you'll always be the captain, but you're a human being first. The two aren't mutually exclusive." He noticed some of the tension in her body ease.

"You've seen what a great success I've been at balancing those so far." She gave him a weak smile and squeezed his hand.

"I'll help you any way I can -if you'll let me."

She looked down at their hands and then back to his face. "I don't know where to start."

Chakotay reached back with his other hand and set the PADD on the ground. He turned back toward Kathryn and tugged slightly on her hand. "Come sit with me and look at the stars."

She hesitated for a moment, uncertain, but then her expression changed as if something had crystallized. When he tugged on her hand again, she allowed herself to be pulled over next to him. He slid his arm around her shoulders and held her against his side. His skin, in comparison to the hot water, felt almost cool. Kathryn was acutely aware of each point where there bodies met - across her shoulders, down her side, and along the outside of her thigh. She held herself rigidly for a few minutes, still unsure whether this was a good idea or not. But after a short debate with herself, she relaxed and allowed her body to be molded against his.

"That's much nicer." He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"Yes, it is. But we forgot something." She said, causing him to tense again. "I didn't scan to see if there are monkeys around."

He smiled at her joke, and relaxed again.

"Now that's better."

"What is?" He asked.

"You smiling. You keep telling me to relax but every time I start to say something you tense up." She sighed as his face clouded over. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about, Kathryn."

"There you go again, letting me off the hook, trying to make it easy for me. But I did this to you, and it upsets me that I've made you... I don't know what to call it, fearful?"

"All right, if we're being honest, then I would have to admit, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Worried that you're going to second guess yourself and pull away." He let out a deep breath, as if a heavy weight had been lifted.

"I think for us, this counts as progress." She nudged him with her head.

He chuckled again. "I guess it does."

"I'm sitting with you here and we're actually talking, and as far as I know, Voyager hasn't exploded."

"Not that we know of, but I suppose we shouldn't press our luck."

"Ah, like not going swimming right after eating?" She asked.

"Yes, like that. Very funny."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, leaning back and gazing up at the stars. Chakotay's PADD lay on the ground forgotten.

After some time, Chakotay noticed Kathryn's head bobbing as she began to drift off. He nudged her gently. "I think we'd better get some sleep."

"Did I doze off?" She asked, her voice thick with sleep.

He nodded, and unwrapped his arm from her, and started to get out. "You can soak for a couple more minutes. I'm going to dry off and change, and I'll bring you back a towel."

Chakotay came back in a minute, after he'd changed into sweat pants and a shirt. "Your turn." He offered his hand to help her up, and then wrapped the towel around her.

"Thanks." She said, and then she walked past him to the tent. Once inside she changed into an outfit similar to Chakotay's.

She heard his footsteps approaching the tent. "When you're changed, hand out the suit and I'll hang it up with mine to dry."

"Thank you." She handed it out him. Then she slid beneath the covers. For a moment concern about sharing the tent flitted through her mind, but then her thoughts lost coherence as she drifted off.

When Chakotay crawled into the tent, he found her asleep and sprawled out taking up most of the space. He gently lifted her arm and then rolled her away from him, so he could lie down. She murmured something and rolled back against him. Chakotay smiled, wrapped his arm around her, and drifted off into contented sleep.

In the morning Kathryn woke to the strange sensation of someone spooned against her back and an arm wrapped around her waist. She was disoriented for a moment, trying to place where she was. She panicked for a moment when she remembered that she had spent the night next to Chakotay. Then the part of her brain that had decided to go forward asserted itself and she calmed again.

Chakotay had been awake for a little while when he felt Kathryn stir. He held his breath when she started, and he waited. He was overjoyed when she relaxed again and made no move to pull away. He pulled her close for a moment. "Good morning."

She opened her eyes and rolled toward him. "Yes, it is." She smiled broadly at him.

"Shall I make breakfast? Then maybe we can continue our exploration downstream."

"That would be nice. Maybe we could find a spot for a picnic? We could pick some fruit along the way - when we aren't stopping to smell the roses of course."

"Sounds lovely." He kissed her nose before unwrapping himself and getting up. She grinned broadly as she got up and started to get herself put together for the day.

By the time she was up and changed, Chakotay was serving up breakfast for them along with hot coffee. Kathryn clutched the cup he handed her and took a long swallow. "Mmmm," she murmured as she sat down. "There's just nothing quite like coffee in the morning."

"And there's nothing like watching you drink coffee in the morning." He winked at her, and put a plate of food in front of her.

They ate and talked more about their plans for the day. When they finished, she cleaned up while Chakotay changed. They put a few supplies into their packs and started out for the river bank.

They had been walking for a quarter of an hour when they heard a chirping from their packs. Kathryn froze, her face went white. She looked at Chakotay and noted he was in a similar state of shock. She fished her 'dead' commbadge out of her pack and tapped it. "Captain Janeway here."

Tuvok's voice came over the connection. "Captain, I apologize for interrupting your shore leave, but an incident has occurred on one the outer planets in this system, and we have been asked to render assistance."

"What do you need from me, Tuvok?"

Chakotay was pleased to note that Kathryn didn't seem willing to give up their shore leave without a struggle.

"Their outer colony has come under attack, and they have asked us to provide support while they evacuate the wounded and reinforce the colony. They estimate the entire operation will be complete in a week. They have also offered to replace any resources or energy we expend on their behalf. 'With interest' was the term he used."

"All right, have the crew transported up to the ship. You can start with Chakotay and me."

"When will you be ready for transport?" Tuvok asked.

Kathryn looked at Chakotay, and he shrugged. There was no point in waiting. "We're ready now, Tuvok. Please have them lock onto our equipment back at our camp, and we need to retrieve the shuttle." She gave him the coordinates. "And Tuvok, one other thing. Our commbadges were damaged in the crash, along with our other communications equipment. How did you get them working again?"

Kathryn thought she heard Tom say something, and then there was static or a scuffling noise. 'Apparently the commbadges weren't 100% yet,' she mused. She also noticed Chakotay's jaw tighten before he looked away.

Then Tuvok was back. "Captain, I'm informed that Lieutenant Torres is very creative. She engineered it."

"I see. Thank you, Tuvok. Give me 10 minutes to collect some of this fruit, and then beam us up. Janeway out."

Chakotay turned and looked at her as she ended the commlink. "Kathryn, I need to explain something..."

She interrupted him, putting her hand up. "I think I already know." She took his hand again and squeezed it. "Now, I just had a nasty case of déjà vu."

"Me too." He pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. "Kathryn, tell me we're not going through that again." His voiced was strained and his expression seemed close to panic.

"No, we're not going backward again... only forward."

"Good." He sighed. "I don't know if I could have gone back to pretending."

"Me either," she replied. She stayed in his arms for a minute, and then squeezed him and started to step back. "I said we were picking fruit. We'd better grab some."

"In just a minute." Chakotay pulled her slowly toward him as his face descended toward hers. She leaned in as he closed the distance and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "I've wanted to do that for years."

She kissed him back quickly. "So have I," she said before letting go of him.

They filled their packs in minutes and were standing quietly, looking at the river when Tuvok hailed them.

Once back on the ship, they spent a hectic week ferrying colonists to and from medical facilities while trying to prevent additional raids. Kathryn was a little frustrated that Voyager had also became a cargo ship, carrying supplies to the colony. But the main thing that irked her was that she and Chakotay were on opposite shifts for the duration, due to the constant threat of attack.

Finally the colony defenses were complete and all the able-bodied colonists were back home. It had only taken six days instead of the predicted seven. Kathryn was highly motivated.

The ambassador offered to throw a banquet in Voyager's honor, but in an uncharacteristic move, Kathryn declined diplomatically. She told him the supplies were thanks enough and regretfully Voyager could not afford to extend their stay any longer.

Just after Voyager left orbit, Kathryn retreated to her ready room. She was exhausted, cradling a PADD in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other when the door chimed.

"Enter." She called out automatically, without looking up from her PADD.

A moment later, another PADD was placed on her desk.

"What's this." She picked up the new PADD and scrolled through the information.

"We still have 3 days of shore leave left. As soon as you ok the schedule Tuvok will be in command, and I have the holodeck reserved for us." Chakotay answered.

She looked over the PADD entered her authorization. "One thing has me curious."

"Only one?" He should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

"How did you manage 3 days of holodeck time?"

He shrugged. "It just happened to be available. I don't think we should look a gift horse in the mouth. Do you?"

She stood and walked around her desk. Taking his arm in hers, she headed for the door. "You may be right. Voyager is quite an amazing ship, and I have an equally amazing crew. Crashed shuttles instantly repaired, good as new. Self-healing commbadges. And let's not forget suitcases that magically produce the things you forgot to pack." She noted the look of concern creeping across Chakotay's face. Kathryn winked at him. "No, I've learned recently not to question some things too closely."

He did a double-take and slowly a smile replaced his frown. "After you."

She shook her head, and gripped his arm tighter. "I think I prefer walking beside you."

They left her ready room together, crossed the bridge, and stepped into the turbolift. "Mr. Tuvok," she called out. "You have the bridge. Don't wait up."

THE END

© 2003 anne3rose@yahoo.com

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