Rating: PG-13
Janeway let out a sigh as she rubbed the bridge of her nose and massaged her forehead -- again. She looked up from the PADD she was studying and cocked her head at Tuvok as he walked into the Ready Room. She waved at the chair on the other side of her desk.
Tuvok sat and picked up the duplicate PADD she offered him. "I assume from your expression that you have not come to a decision yet on our...predicament."
"You assume correctly. As usual." She smiled at him. "I see your time in the Maquis hasn't diminished your ability to read me."
"On the contrary. Time spent trying to learn to *read* Captain Chakotay has only reinforced it, as I used you as a reference in my analysis."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh, really? And which one of us did you find more logical?"
Tuvok answered her raised eyebrow with his own. "You might be surprised to hear my findings on the captain. He was not at all as I had been led to believe by Starfleet Intelligence."
She waved her PADD at him again. "Surprise me. I have to decide whether or not to throw him and his crew in the Brig, maroon them on some class M planet, or...," she trailed off as she turned in her chair and looked out the window.
"Or find a place for them among the crew of Voyager?" Tuvok filled in.
Janeway blinked and her eyes focused on the starfield. "Is that a suggestion or just a listing of my options, Tuvok? I've been thinking it, but..." She turned back and looked at him. "I thought it was too crazy... too illogical to say it out loud."
Tuvok sat back and steepled his fingers. "We have few viable options. We are 70,000 light-years from home and given the need for refueling, maintenance, and human life-span, this crew will likely not see the Alpha Quadrant again in their lifetimes. It is possible that we may find a wormhole, or the Caretaker's mate to return us sooner, but it is far more reasonable to assume that it will be the children of Voyager's crew who will complete this journey."
Janeway covered her mouth as she let out a tiny gasp. With her other hand she reached for the picture of Mark, Molly, and her -- taken a few days before Voyager's launch. She ran her fingers over the pictures, letting the idea that she might never see them again sink in for the first time.
Then she pursed her lips and set the picture down. "I won't accept that, Tuvok. I'm bringing this crew home."
"That may not be within your power. Would you ask them to cease to be *human* for the duration of this journey?"
Janeway frowned and ran her hand through her hair. "No, of course not. I just never expected to be captaining a generational ship." Her expression became wistful again, as she looked down at the picture. "At least, not by myself."
"I too, miss my mate. It is more likely that I will live to see her again, but neither of us had anticipating spending so many years apart. She may conclude that I am dead and select another mate in my absence. The manner of our disappearance, in the 'Bad Lands', will support such a conclusion. It would be the logical thing for her to do."
Janeway's expression softened and she looked at her old friend. "I'm so sorry, Tuvok. My decision to destroy the Array has cost everyone dearly. It's one thing to send people to their deaths. I've done that before. But to consign them to this... living death." She looked away again. "I've got to get them home."
"You have not mentioned the option of remaining here, in the Delta Quadrant. We should consider it."
She put a hand up to stop him. "No. We're going home. Now, tell me what I need to know about Captain Chakotay."
"There is his record, which I believe was altered. And then there is what I observed first hand while under his command and since returning to Voyager. It would seem Captain Chakotay was singled out because of his danger to the Federation and to Starfleet, not just for his tactical acumen, but also for his character. If he believes in a cause he will embrace it fully, but without compromising his personal code of ethics.
"I witnessed multiple instances where his then lover, Seska, encouraged him to acts of brutality and violence in order to gain an advantage. The captain held firm in his refusal to torture prisoners or to abandon his own sick and injured crew members."
Janeway's eyebrows shot up. "He was having an affair with a member of his crew?"
Tuvok paused and studied her for a moment. "Captain, you are as aware as I am of the regulations on fraternization within Starfleet. The Maquis' informal code of conduct is no different. As long as both parties are willing, and so long as it does not interfere with the performance of their duties, Starfleet is not in the habit of monitoring the bedrooms of its officers. Marriages among officers serving on the same ship are common."
She didn't reply. These were all things they both knew were true.
He looked at her closely. "You are concerned that being separated from your fiancé in the Alpha Quadrant with little hope of being reunited, that you will find yourself drawn, romantically, to a member of your own crew."
Almost imperceptibly her head dipped down and back up.
"You are further concerned that if you allow yourself to form such an attachment with a member of your crew that it would be somehow disloyal to your fiancé."
Her expression was pained when she looked up at him. "How can I just forget about Mark? What if I do and then a year later we find a way home?"
"That I cannot answer. If T'Pel were to do the same, I would understand that she had made the logical choice for herself and for the good of our children. Even Vulcans benefit from the close society of others. Children benefit from the guidance and support of two parents. In my own way I would mourn the loss, but I would not wish her to sacrifice her, or our children's, well-being awaiting an improbable reunion."
Janeway sighed again and went to get a cup of coffee from the replicator.
After she sat down, Tuvok said, "You have been my friend for many years, and I have always sought to give you my best counsel and support. Consider this now -- a crew follows their captain in more things than just the orders they issue. If you hold yourself apart, denying yourself, and sacrificing a part of your humanity, they will do the same. If you do not move forward, they will not. The captain leads by example as much as by words."
"So what are you saying? I should just drag Captain Chakotay back to my cabin instead of throwing him in the Brig?"
Tuvok cocked his head. "He would be a more logical choice than Ensign Kim or Tom Paris, assuming you intended to select a fellow senior officer. Based on my observations of him, I think you would make a formidable team."
"Tuvok, I was making a joke! Trying to lighten the mood."
"I, was not."
Her mouth dropped open and she stared at him.
"Perhaps we should leave the question of your personal affiliations for another time. I believe you wished me to give my analysis of Captain Chakotay?"
Janeway nodded and rolled her eyes at Tuvok's non-change of subject. No wonder Vulcans were such devastating diplomats.
"As I mentioned, Captain Chakotay was not as his file implied. He is a skilled tactician and a dangerous enemy, but we have already seen how greatly he values the safety of those for whom he is responsible. He sacrificed his ship to protect Voyager and sent his crew here. He will no doubt take it as a personal betrayal if, after our brief alliance, you were to incarcerate his crew or abandon them.
"However, if we provided them with a safe haven among our crew, I believe you would find him a trustworthy ally. He commands the loyalty of most of his crew. There are some exceptions who would need to be monitored closely. But so far as it is within his power, I believe Captain Chakotay would support you as captain and protect and serve this ship."
"He would need some official position in the crew," she said tentatively.
"The most logical place for him is at your side, as your First Officer. He has already demonstrated that he will put your needs and the needs of this ship above his own. You saw how he accepted your decision to destroy the Array, even over the objections of his own crew member."
She nodded slowly. "Yes, I saw that. I was surprised, but pleased. But he could serve at Tactical. You're next in line to be First Officer, Tuvok."
"Perhaps, but I do not desire the position. Also, I am a lieutenant while Captain Chakotay was a commander before leaving Starfleet."
Janeway nodded again, lost in thought. "Are you sure, Tuvok?"
"Captain, I am not in the habit of saying things I do not mean. I am certain this is best for the ship. I am certain this is best for you."
Janeway shifted in her chair. If she weren't a Starfleet captain, it might have appeared she was fidgeting. "All right, I'll ask him if he'll join us."
Tuvok stood up to leave.
"Please tell Captain Chakotay that I'd like to speak with him."
Tuvok nodded and left.
Ten minutes later her door chimed. Janeway had spent the intervening time collecting her thoughts. She'd been thinking a lot about what Tuvok said, about the children of Voyager bringing the ship home. And she'd thought a lot about Mark.
"Come in."
The door opened and Chakotay walked through.
Janeway stood and stepped around her desk to greet him, her hand extended. "Captain, thank you for agreeing to meet with me."
Chakotay noted that her hand shake was firm but not overly so. She stood straight and looked him in the eye, but not in a confrontational way. He took it all in, analyzing it. The fact that she had asked to meet with him at all, instead of sending security to deal with him, spoke volumes.
On the other hand, this could just be her way of softening the blow. The thought crossed his mind that his crew could be being dragged away while he was being detained here. He looked at the woman in front of him and tried to decide if she were the kind that would use negotiations as a ruse to gain the upper hand. Speaking of which, he noticed he still held hers, and she was staring at him intently, obviously trying to size him up just as he was doing.
He squeezed her hand again. "My ship is gone and my crew and I are at your mercy. What choice did I have?" He saw her lips thin as he said it, and she pulled back. He grasped her hand more firmly and put his other hand over their hands. "But I do appreciate the courtesy. Seeing me in person to inform me of my fate."
He flashed her a smile and then let go of her hand.
Janeway brought her hands together and rubbed them. Then she turned toward the couch. "I asked you here to discuss our options. Why don't we sit down over here and talk?" She waived at the table, but walked past it to the replicator.
He sat down and surveyed the room. There was very little beyond the bare Starfleet issue. No personalization, no hint about the person who worked here, except for a picture on her desk, and he couldn't make it out from where he sat.
He watched her retrieve two cups from the replicator. Her uniform hugged her body, as all standard issue uniforms did, and maybe it was just the left over adrenaline from the battle, but it seemed to look particularly attractive on her.
She handed him a cup, bringing him back to the present. "Where shall we start?"
"You're the captain. I believe it's your prerogative to set the agenda." He lifted the cup and took a sip. His eyes darted to hers. "You've been reading up on me. This is my favorite blend."
"You're no stranger to tactics, Captain." She smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Know your enemy."
He smiled back. "I'm afraid our files on you are not as complete. But you'll find I'm a quick study. I've already learned quite a lot about you."
"Really?" She leaned forward. "Anything you'd care to share?"
He took another sip and then set the cup down on the coffee table. "First, you must be a rather skilled captain, or they wouldn't have sent you after me."
Janeway chuckled. "I'll have to add humility to your file."
"I happen to be an excellent tactician and pilot. I kept those Kazon off your back during the fight and destroyed their capital ship." His eyes sparkled as he defended himself. Then he grew serious. "But that's not the only reason the Federation wants me. I'm an embarrassment to them and the quicker I'm out of the way the better. I'm a reminder of how they allowed innocent colonists to be slaughtered by the Cardassians for the sake of political convenience."
"Captain, we're not here to debate Federation politics," Janeway interrupted.
"No, there's not much point out here, is there?" He nodded. "And I'm not convinced that you'd put up a very good argument if we did. I saw how you reacted to the idea of the Kazon getting control of the Array. You'd rather be stranded here than to allow the Ocampa to suffer. Not to mention the rest of the quadrant.
"After seeing their ships and their attitude, they reminded me of Klingons from 50 years ago. Imagine what the Alpha Quadrant would look like now if the Empire had had technology like the Array." He picked up his cup and took another sip.
When she didn't comment he continued, "You sacrificed yourself and your crew to prevent an aggressive and belligerent species from destroying people you've never met. If there were more people like that in the Federation, my life would be very different."
She looked down at her cup. "Thank you, Captain. I must say I don't feel as certain about my decision as you seem too. I stranded a lot of people a lifetime away from their families. In fact Tuvok was just in here telling me it's going to be our children who bring Voyager home, not us."
She looked tired and so much less sure of herself than she had when they first met. Then she was all fire and ten kinds of determination. He wanted to see that fire and sparkle back in her eyes again.
"Captain, or perhaps I should call you Kathryn after that declaration, I think we'd have lovely children."
It took a moment to register and then her eyes flew open in shock. "Captain, that's not what I..." She stopped short when she saw his eyes glittering and realized he was teasing her. "Captain," she began again in a more controlled tone, but with a hint of mischief in her eyes. "I'm sure if that day comes we'd have delightful children." She smiled as he jerked when she patted his leg. "But if it's all the same to you, I'm not quite ready to set up housekeeping with the man I was sent to arrest. No matter how charming he may be." She winked at him and suddenly he realized that once again he'd lost the momentum and she was in charge. "I was thinking of a little more formal relationship -- as my First Officer."
Chakotay stood and stared at her. "You're not serious."
Janeway looked at him and then patted the seat next to her. "After the idea of children, I would think being my First Officer would be less of a shock." She grinned at him.
He sat slowly and picked up his cup. He watched the tea swirl around as he thought about the offer.
"It's not a token position I'm offering, Captain. You'd be the first officer, just like on any other Federation ship. The crew would report to you, and you'd answer only to me," she said.
"You know almost nothing about me. As far as you know I'm a criminal with a price on my head," he countered.
"I learned everything I needed to know when you agreed to work with me for the good of your crew. When you rammed that Kazon ship and sacrificed your own, so that one of our ships would survive. And I saw your answer to B'Elanna when I gave the order to destroy the Array."
He watched her open a box that had been sitting on the coffee table. Inside were 3 gold pips. "Together, as one crew, we can get everyone home." She took them out of the box and held them out to him. "Join me."
He stared at them, watching the light reflect off their shiny surface and thought about everything they implied. He'd left Starfleet for a reason, but those reasons were a lifetime away.
Her hand felt warm as he reached in and scraped the pips from her palm into his hand. He continued to look at them, and rolled them around in his hand, but didn't put them on. "What about my crew? I won't have them scrubbing plasma conduits while I sit on the Bridge."
"Your people will be integrated into the crew according to ability and experience. Tuvok has recommended that Mr. Ayala receive a field promotion and serve in security. Ms. Torres would be an asset in Engineering."
He could see her out of the corner of his eye, studying him, but he kept his eyes on the future that lay in his hand. "Why?"
"It's simple. I need you. And I think I can trust you."
He grinned again.
Janeway smiled back. "But if you'd like to be cynical, chalk it up to the old earth saying, 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.'"
Chakotay laughed now. "A moment ago we were having children, now I'm back to being an enemy."
Janeway put her hands in the air and shrugged.
He nodded and closed his hand around the pips. Then he stood and carried them to the replicator. Punching in a command, he watched as the pips morphed into a bar.
She followed him and stood just behind him.
He turned tightly to avoid bumping her and showed her the rank bar.
He winked at her and fastened it to his collar. It was not Starfleet but not Maquis either. It was some place in between. "In light of our earlier conversation, I think I'd rather be your enemy...at least a little while longer."
He stood still as she ran her fingertips over the bar. It was a compromise. The first of many he was certain. He was willing to join her crew, and serve as a Starfleet XO, but not to forget who he was.
She finally pulled her hand back and smiled. "That suits me just fine, Commander...for now."
THE END
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